i used to see only 2 colors. Black and white. Evreything's so monochrome...everythings so lifeless...until u came into picture.

i used to sing the songs that i find easy and simple. Now that u came into the picture...again... i find it easier to sing the most difficult of songs ever made.

i used to draw things, objects that would captivate other people. Those that make them stop, and look for a while. But now, ur here, i decided to draw the things that would somehow, eventually, captivate you... neglecting what other people say.

i used to hear things that would tell me, "hey, your so good... hey your work is fine..." but now... i decided to believe the fact that i cannot please everyone... and i learned that because of you.

i used to dance...but not on the dance floor. It is because i dont have the guts to strut my stuff and make other people see how i do the murder on the dance floor. But since im so captivated, so under ur spell... i chose to do the things, ive never had done before. and still, courtesy of you...

i used to be afraid of the girl that i really like... afraid that i be rejected, be turned down, afraid to be in the loosing end of the battle.

But i...

valiantly...

Took the risk.

if proving myself to you would be the starting point of this journey...

i'll walk til i reach eternity just to make u believe that u will have all of me and not a single part of me dangling idly...

if saying "i love you" would amplify my love for you...

i better not say it...

i'll show you how much i do...

all i need is the chance, the time, and understanding for you to know how much i really, really

love you...

u were my first slow dance...

ur the one who thot me how to balance everything

ur the one who inspires my work...

ur the one whom i get my strength from...



"You, You brought the Blue back to my skies...

You put the rainbow in my eyes...

you brought the red back to the rose...

a silver lining in my prayers...

Now....theres color everywhere"


--Color Everywhere--
Christian Bautista

Thanks...

"The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are because of others but rather, how happy others can be because of you"

Quotes,quotes,quotes. Ones that talk about love. They never cease to be mushy. Yes, you heard it right, mushy.

They never cease to be mushy and they continue being such. BUT....

They sometimes speak of the truth.

I went to school this morning. Sleepy. I entered the classroom with watery eyes and half of my body still aching to sleep. I entered the room with my teacher already inside, waiting for the reporters/debaters to do their stuff inside.

The debate finished. I was still sleepy. Well what can i do? so i grabbed my phone, started to misscall you.

everytime it rings, i feel so fulfilled that somehow, someway, i made my presence be felt...to you... i cant stand a day without me doing my "standard operating procedure". thats the only way that i can make presence be felt......

and to somehow make you think that somebody thinks of you as the day progresses.

It is inevitable... really...

I wonder what im going to type next.

Ok, lets get straight to the point...

Geez...you know what, i terribly miss you. perhaps i got used to seeing you each time i wake up. Seeing your face just lights up my day. It even surpasses a hot cup of cofee served on a cold morning. HONEST!

i also miss the times when we walk together. I'll crack some jokes and then smile....then there you are... smiling back...

i also miss the night you were there to cheer me up... when i was playing and singing. I really liked what you did...you smiled, and told me from afar that i can do this...i can do that... its so....sweet... and i have to thank you for that.

More than boosting my morale, you made each day of my life when we were there...complete...

This is how the quote was lived. You brought it to life and i am the sole witness to that.

This works not only for me....but to the persons closest to your heart also. They might not tell you about it, but im sure, they felt it too...

To end this...let me say it the last time in this letter...

I miss you... I terribly miss you...



This is how you made me happy for quite some time....

and this is how you gave meaning to my life...

thanks...

I can still remember the day when the orange bags were taken out. taken out of their big boxes (or plastic bags if i wasnt mistaken). I can also remember the day the JC-NEB were deployed from the bus as early as 5:45 in the morning.

The cold breeze of the city of pines kissed everyone's sleepy faces.

I can still remeber that day, i accompanied you to check the rooms and other things. It was really essential for me to know those data because later on i was reminded that i will be the head of the billetting comm... so... it was a big help to me...a very big one...

Then one by one, the delegates came. i was very very happy that moment not only because i had to see the first of all the delegates coming down to see where their rooms are, but also the checking we did... it proved to be very useful!

where do all this phrases lead to?

you of course...

it just makes me feel fulfilled that after working with you for sometime, i cant deny the fact that i miss working with you already, just as much as im missing you this past few days...

yeah...i must admit... i am mushy... the 5-letter word that describes how a person tries to voice out what he/she feels but in an odd manner...

i might be odd...

i might be weird...

i might be mushy...

but hey...

at least....

im honest with what im feeling...


Theres no point in denying what im doing... i seem pretty obvious though im trying to be silent most of the time. I might as well tell you what i really feel about you...but i think, only time would tell me when that day, that hour, that moment would come...

I can still remember the day the orange bags were taken out of the boxes....

i can still remember when it all began...

and i can still remember the person who made it all happen...'

you...

take care

i didnt expect that my next subject would come from you...

directly from you...

Lets first define the word Charm

Charm:
1. a power of pleasing or attracting as through personality.

2.a trinket on a bracelet or necklace.

3.an amulet.

4.a formula or action credited with magical power

5. to delight or please by attractiveness

and finally...

6.to act upon with magical force



and you acted upon me with magical force
yes i must admit it is that force no one in this word is able to put to words and surely...at one point.... for me... it was magic...

Its magic everytime i look into your eyes. that "charm" you beset me, that look you give me everytime i make fun of you... thats plain magic...and then, all i can do is smile back...

it also talks about chemistry. a formula, or action credited with magical power yes. everytime i see your charming face, i cant deny the fact that i feel this "sudden-rush-of-blood-to-the-head" feeling...i also feel the same evrytime i look into ur eyes...

it was just something i cant explain...

Hmm... i also know very much that a trinket on a necklace or bracelet would simply amplify your charm... and ur beauty of course...haha... havent thought of anything to say eh.. hehehe

hmm...how about an amulet?? an amulet is larger than a bracelet right? hmmm.. amulet amulet amulet... nah... i just dont feel describing you with an amulet... i think its just so bulky... well... i'll make it up to you on the next paragraph...

yes...finally...the power of pleasing or attracting as through personality. hmm... this would sum it all up. It was you spoke the words that " it's what we call ""charm""..." so i'll take this time to tell you that i am captivated by that "charm" of yours...

theres no point in denying that im attracted to you...charmed one... only that i tend to be silent at times because im really shy to tell you what im actually feeling. It was magic at first glance... i just felt that somehow...i need to share what i feel with someone...someone i could call a sister.... but eventually... as time passed, i learned to care for my sister... i became sensitive with the feelings of my sister...
and now... im even atracted to my sister... attracted in ways that i cannot explain... im attracted to you...

and to end this one... yeah... its hard for me to voice out what i feel. and i cant deny also that im under your spell. So i just take some time to share using this... i even write letters now....because of you...

so...

i can conclude that...

it is your magic after all....

that magic which no one else can explain...

that magic that captivates each and everyones heart....

that magic that eventually caught my hearts attention...

that thing that makes my blood rush to the head...

that five-letter word called...


Charm

take care....
[img:382986]

let me first quote some lines from Edwin Mccain's famous single I could not ask for more

"and these are the moments, i thank God that im alive. And these are the moments i'll remember all my life... Ive got all im waiting for and i could not ask for more."


I wonder why a lot of songs talk about a person, feeling so much complete when others feel the opposite. But in my case, feeling complete is not just an effect of a mere song... but from a person truly giving life to me each day.

Hey, its me again...talking about what i feel, but, what can i do? its the closest thing to telling you how much i really feel.

well anyways...

I got the famous "last song syndrome" again. This time, with the song... could not ask for more by Edwin mccain. You think i'll be is the only song that can captivate peoples hearts?...well think again..

This one's actually best for a wedding... but, for me, it best suits my situation. A person truly silent about his feelings, doing his revelations through a journal and eventually...after some time... after collecting enough guts... he'll finally spill everything out...

It has been exactly 7 days from our departure. I miss all the things we've done in the convention. although seeing you yesterday was quite energizing and inspiring and a lot more "ing" adjectives found in the dictionary, i still cant deny it... i miss you still...

yeah..i know your ear's already bleeding of that "missing you" stuff... but hey... i cant blame my heart for doin so... i cant tell it to stop... to stop missing you...

well...the song? it actually talks about answered prayers, heaven's existence, raindrops being listened to, smiling because of your smile, thanking God for being alive, thanking God for being with you, moments to be remembered for a lifetime... just enough to tell someone that they are that important to a person...

that u are important to me...

anwered prayers? hmm... i had a couple of that... and one thing is everytime im with you...

heavens existence? how about that... its like the one stated above... its also being with you... hearing you talk, hearing what you share... its just so angelic.

raindrops being listened to? thats from officially missing you.. hahaha! there goes the miss you stuff again...

smiling because of your smile? hmm... its because of the fact that evertime you're happy, you're smiling... i feel the same too... just seeing you smile back could turn me from a sentimental fool to an uber inspired person.. try me..

hey..i also thank God for being alive. I do that everyday. I thank God for being alive because being alive, i had the chance to meet you... and spend some time with you...

and to sum it all up...

all of these are the moments i treasure the most... everytime it happens, i just feel so alive,so complete! its all because of you... yeah... edwin mccain's right... with you, i dont think heaven exists... i feel that heaven exists. all i can say is...

these thoughts,

these events,

these moments,

are so special to me...

it reminds me of you... and i...being together...

and i do...

thank God...

for that...

and most of all...

i do...

thank god

for you.........



"is loving you really that hard?.........no....... "
[img:384338]

Rain poured across the metro this morning. I was finishing my plate then when i heard drops of rain falling upon the roof a nearby building. I wished that it wont rain the whole day...

but it did...

I was glad this morning. although late for my filipino class, because the sun shined so bright that i felt like it was a great great day waiting for me to venture on.

but the rain ruined it all...

I shined my shoes a monday morning, experimented on different shines... but came out with only one result... old but shined leather shoes... i used it this morning...proud. so proud that i took a glance everytime im stepping on something not worthy of stepping..like dirt or something.

eventually, it was tained in the process as i walked on the wet and muddy paths inside and outside UST.

all because of the rain...

i was worried about my classmates' fone because i borowed it and after using it, placed it in one of my pockets. Borrowing an eraser, the phone slipped off my pocket! i wonder how that happened... it must have jumped or something.

i used it to text you... to make you feel that u are sooooo important to me and to say "take care"... why?

because it rained... i was worried about you then...

doin so...i borrowed the fone..texted you... i accidentally dropped the fone...and the it was, for some time, broken...

i did everything i can to make the fone work again... prayed, yelled at the fone... turned the fone "on" and "off" just to see the "Insert sim card" phrase which annoyed me... i thought it was broken for good until i tried to fix it one last time....

eventually...it went back to normal again...

geez...

and all of it? all of these happened because of the rain...

now i know that some prayers aren't answered at once... it takes time...but it will happen. Like this afternoon... the sun shined again.

then after some time... it rained again.

its funny how nature plays tricks on us people. But when hearts are the ones being talked about... its a different story.

like me, falling in love with you.

i might look stupid on other people. i might look funny to them. i might be so boring, so corny to them... but hey...

who cares...

as long as im doin my stuff... as long as i make you feel important to me... come hell or high water...

i maybe stupid when it comes to proving mathematical/geometric equations... but if proving myself to you is where it all lands...

i'll give it everything i got...

i'll give you everything i got...



i blamed the rain once...twice...thrice...

i hated to hear the raindrops lately...

but only.....

if one raindrop....

meant...

"i love you"....

then i wouldnt hate the rain..... i wouldnt hate the raindrops...

rather...... i would wish.....

it would rain forever....

[img:386192]

I have been brainstorming for my next topic and fortunately, one thing came past me... it just so happened that i was reading a "quote book" and i saw there...

"Angels"

yep...angels. celestial attendants of God. they are conventional representations of human beings... only, with wings.

i have also found out that text "Quote books" have these celestial beings compared to people. well, thats for a change. I myself see angels as cute,friendly beings that back the one their guarding. speaking of guarding, they are also considered protectors of the people everytime they jump into fray.

but in my case, im the one to protect my angel...

Angels come in diffrent sizes. there are big angels, small angels, cute angels, and other adjectives that will best describe God's loyal masterpieces.

moving on... i found out that in my life, i've had alot of angels... too many to mention. and those angels represent my friends... who were there with me through the thickest and toughest of things... and of course...

the angel whom inspires me everyday...

she's the reason why my days are always up...that even though it rains, my day has the sun still up...shining... because of one sole reason...

her...

she's my angel, sweet and caring... but in the process of friendship, i've develop these deeper feelings for her already. that longing...that concern for her... all just comes up to the words...

"ive fallen for her already"


its true... i really do... i used to think that angels are the ones who are supposed to look after whom they are gurading, but now, its the other way around... the one being looked at...is now the one, doing the "gurading" stuff... and theres no regret with that...

i dont regret doin it...

walkin you home late at night, doin some stuff for you... that just makes it all worthwhile... and thats because....

i just cant stop caring for you...

and...

i want you to feel very special... special,,,to me...

as an exclamation point to this entry...

2 words....

"i care"...

i rest my case....

"Angels never come down from heaven...

theres no one in this earth....

they want to hang around....


but...


if they only knew you....

if they only knew you at all....


then one by one


the angels would fall..............."


god bless.....angel.....

Lagi ko nang panalangin
tuwing akoy gigising
at sa pagtulog sa gabi
na ikay masaya sa twina

wala nang hahanapin
kundi ang ngiti sa 'yong labi
at kislap sa yong mga mata.
sa tuwing ikay aking nasisilayan, aking nakikita

ngunit di ko maipagkakaila
sa aki'y mahal ka
iniisip ka sa tuwina
hinahanap hanap ka.

kung sa iba'y akoy hibang
baliw at topak na naturingan
aba, kung ang dahilan nitong kabaliwan ay ikaw...
mas mabuti pang pakabaliw ako buong buhay. para sayo.

subukan ko man na di ka isipin
hinding hindi ko magawa
nag aalala sayo tuwing umuula nangangamusta kapag nawawalan ng buhay ang bawat araw.

inspirasyon ka sa araw araw na binigay ng dyos.
anghel kang dumating sa buhay ko...
ano pa bang nararapat na gawin...
kundi ang alagaan kat bigyang pansin...

binibini... napamahal na ko sayo
ilang araw...ilang oras...ilang minuto ko rin itong itinago...
wala na akong hihilingin pa... wala na akong hahanapin pa... wala na akong aasamin pa...

bastat ikay maligaya...

lahat ng bagay...

masaya..........

i guess im a little bit out of words these days. I cant put anything to words actually. some, i think are better done...but still some are better said... my mind's so...blocked.

i still have a plate to finish...but... i can manage. i can manage my time well now... what an achievement. it will also be the finals for the choral speaking this friday... and im still polishing mah group...

i have an activity outline to edit...hoping that i can make it work one last time.... i have an introduction to make... rotc stuff... trainings almost over and i have to make the best out of it. i have a retreat letter to make and still i havent had the thoughts to make a good one.

my body i think is stressed out, imagine the training in rotc its rigorous.... my voice, its not really well... i thirst for something i just cant explain..yet i try to drink what is available... geez... i arrived home, hungry this lunch just to find out that the supply of rice just ran out.... waaahhhh.......

i think im terribly out of place....

I read a book this late afternoon....in national bookstore.... i read something about love.... when i arrived home.... i managed to watched a little of the program on tv.... its a love story... and there i am.... smacked in front of the idiot box...

although the day was quite tiring, i think i just had some relief... a busy week is about to unfold as the semester is about to end... soon....some activities are going to be done...and plates are to be submitted......and one more thing.....

before i almost forget.....



you made me complete all throughout the week......