just wanted to share a thing with you....

i survived the gruesome battles of this day because of one thing....

INSPIRATION.....

I really really wonder whats in a song that makes it so memorable.

Have you ever felt that oh so great feeling that your blood instantly runs to your head? well in my case, everytime i hear my current favorite song... i feel such.

Its like a myriad of emotions suddendly running down to one person.

Im beginning to think that this simple poetry called "songs" can really reach out to the deepest recesses of a person, digging out pasts, opening up emotions resulting in a much deeper feeling, then boom!

a person can relate to it instantly!


o how magical it is to listen to songs.... espescially when you sing it to someone very special...

for me,,, listening to it is one thing that completes my whole personality....

maybe someday.... i might right my own songs... songs that will tell how special my life was....

maybe...someday....

minsan naisip ko, nabigyan naman ako ng dalawang bibig para magsalita pero di ko sya magamit minsan para sabihin yung mga bagay na may kabuluhan.

Nabigyan rin naman ako ng kalayaan pero minsan inaabuso ko naman.

Nabigyan pa man din ako ng tenga pero bakit kaya minsan, ayaw kong makinig?

Asset ng isang architecture student ang kanyang mga kamay. Panggawa ng ibat ibang bagay, ibat ibang klaseng straktura. Pero bakit yung akin, di nya matulungan ang mga bibig kong magsalita ng dapat?

May mata rin ako..at marunong akong tumingin ng mga bagay bagay, pero bakit kahit may nakikita na akong masakit para sa akin, may naririnig na akong masakit sa loob ko,parang sobra na ang pag inda ko sa mga yon...

ewan ko kung bakit???

Balik tayo sa bibig. Marami akong gustong sabihin at nandito na naman ako sa sitwasyong to na kung saan nahihirapan akong sabihin lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

Bakit sa tuwing dadating to, di ko cya maayos,, di ko cya kayang gawin,, e ang simple simple lang naman... Sasabihin lang....aamin lang... ano bang mahirap dun?

Antapang kong magsalitang madali noh? Di ko naman magawa...

Ano pa ang paghihintay ng tamang oras eh kung sa tueing nabibigyan ka ng oras, ng pagkakataon eh di mo man lang masabi sabi yung mga gusto mong sabihin...

ang nangyayari....maghihintay na naman ako ng panibagong pagkakataon at uulit at uulit na naman ang mga nangyari nung nakaraan...

Bakit ba ganito... Sa dinami dami ng kinonsulta ko, ni isa wala akong nasusunod. wala akong nagagawa!! pano na kaya to????

may malaking tanong lang ako...

Magagawa ko pa kayang umamin kung kelan lubog na lubog na naman ako?

sana magawa ko...

sana.

sasabihin ko na sana't aaminin sayo lahat lahat ng itinatago ng puso kong alipin ng kaba,,,alam mo naman tayo,,,walang magawa,,, Nerbyoso"

Saka na lang, Pag kaya ko na

I>Alam mo ba?
Alam mo ba?
May gusto akong sabihin
May katagalan na

II>Ilang linggong pinagisipan
Ilang linggong Pinaggugulan
Damdamin kong ito
Di ko mahugot mula sa kawalan

refrain:

Kaya ngayon, tingnan mo
Sadyang di magkandaugaga
Kung anong gagawin ko
Pano kaya to? sana'y dinggin mo

Chorus:

Alam mo bang Mahal kita?
Kahit anong tago, pilit na nagpapakita
Gusto ko mang sabihin, di ko kayang magawa,
Saka na lang siguro, may ibang panahon pa
Saka na lang siguro, pag kaya ko na


III>Walang nagawa ang payo,
Walang nagawa ang radyo
Kahit na anong kinig
di ko magawang masabi sayo

IV>Pagkakataong pagkaramirami
Mga oras na nagkasama tayo
Ni isang beses doon,
Walang nagawa, mga labi ko

Refrain:
Kaya ngayon, tingnan mo
Sadyang di magkandaugaga
kung anong gagawin ko
pano kaya to? sanay dinggin mo.

ChorusII
Alam mo bang mahal kita?
Kahit panong tago,pilit nagpapakita
Pwede ko namang sabihin, Di ko talaga magawa
Saka na lang siguro, may panahon pa ba???
saka na lang siguro,pag kaya ko na.

Refrain:
Chorus1
Chorus2

Saka na lang siguro, Mahihintay mo pa ba?
saka ko na lang sasabihin
mahal kita.


Oo saka ko na lang sasabihin, pag kaya ko na

After watching our high school project...(a movie,that is)i felt great.

i reminisced some of the things that happend to my life. It was really cool...

but slowly, my tears began to fall...

i suddendly realized that im still in a tight spot. a situation where perspectives can suddendly change,

and that is letting somebody know what u feel about him/her.

our movie, inspired me much last night. it built my guts that somehow, i must open up and let her know what my true feelings are.

Take the risk....thats all i need to know for now... if i wouldnt learn how to, who will do it for me?

i cant be like this forever... i need to tell her... soon...

soon...

Bakit pag bumitaw ng punchline ang mga kanta ni rico blanco solid?

nakikinig ako ngayon ng Nerbyoso. medyo luma na rin ung kantang toh ng rivermaya, pero wala akong magagwa, akma sa akin eh.

Simulan naten.

ilang gabing kasama ka, walang ibang ginagawa kundi mag usap sa mata. bigla akong tinawag, uwian na pala,, pag lingon ko'y wala ka na

pano ba mag usap sa mata? may makakapagturo ba sa akin nun? ibang klase un dba? walang salita... kumbaga "lahat ng sinasabi, maiintindihan sa simpleng tingin".

ilang gabi na rin akong nagdaramdam, kahit pangalan moy di ko pa alam..

Ilang gabi na kong nagdaramdam....OO pero alam ko na pangalan mo,,,nakatatak na sakin ng totoo....

nais ko sanang makapiling kang muli, kahit saglit lang kahit lamang sandali

hay....ilang araw ka ba namang di makita.... ilang araw ka ba namang di maramdaman... sino bang di makakamis sayo nun?

ilang gabi na kong lubhang nagdaramdam, pano kung di ka na muling matagpuan?

alam mo,, yun lang ang kinatatakutan kong lubos... yung di ka na makita ulit matapos kong sabihin sayo lahat ng nararamdaman ko....

gayunpaman...ilang gabi na rin akong nagdaramdam....kung pano ko maaamin sayo lhat ng nararamdaman ko.



ilang gabi na rin akong lubhang nagdaramdam Kasi Mahal Kita Hindi Mo Lang Alam

yun lang naman ang gusto kong sabihin sayo eh.. umaasa rin akong di mo ko lalayuan...mabuti na rin sigurong alam mo yung tunay kong nararamdaman... kaysa naman malaman mo na galing naman sa iba.... hindi ko lahat malalaman ang mangyayari hanggang di ako gumagalaw...

Sasabihin ko na sana't aaminin sayo lahat lahat ng itinatago ng puso kong alipin ng kaba... alam mo naman tayo... walang magawa...nerbyoso


minsan siguro..nauunahan lang ako ng takot...

ng nerbyos...

nagawa ko na toh minsan...

hinding hindi ko lang alam kung bakit ngayon... matatakot ako ng sobra sobra pa...

alam mo kasi....

mahal kita eh...

un lang ang sasabihin ko, wala nang iba...















malabo na kung malabo... pero alam mo.... excited na kong masabi sayo... nakakuha na rin ako ng lakas ng loob... kasi kungpapabayaan ko to... ako rin ang talo sa huli.... lumayo ako nang di ko man lang nalalalaman kung kahit konting katiting....

may nadarama ka rin...

hay...lumalalim na ang gabi....

namimis na rin kita....

hayaan mo...

pag nagkita tayo....

sasabihin ko sayo...

Ilang gabi na rin akong nagdaramdam

.........kasi mahal kita hindi mo lang alam

like the moon needs the stars

How i wish i could be there
evrytime you feel alone.
I'll fill those gaps in your fingers
with mine

i'll stay with you
until evrything seems fine
and evrythings is
in place

gently i'll look up
in the diamond filled sky
and seek for a star

and softly whisper to you..
" u know what? everytime i look up there
and look at that star
it just tells me that, somehow, im near you

and if that moment
you'll ask me just why?

i'll just look straight to you
and with all sincerity....
i'll tell you...

" ur so special to me... like the stars are that special to the moon

It was a long day....

after making us more like tinapa in this day's training in ROTC, without even a break or something, i still managed to do some things although im sooooo wasted...

Doin 30 squat-thrusts is no joke.... and by the way... it wasnt only 30,,, because that aww so crappy Non comissioned officer thought we were robots and asked us to repeat the punishment all over again....

as a consequence, the back of my both arms...hurt...

my palms feel a little bit of pain though.

moving on, im just that excited on our choir's upcoming competition... The Himig Tomasino! Its my first official,unprecedented, Singing Contest in the grounds of UST...

Maybe He's giving me sign...
Pursue my musical Career!!! waaahhh!!! eniways...


Our preliminary exams just ended last friday, and im confident enuf that i wil pass certain subjects... take note. Certain. If not only of that Physics teacher of ours who spent most of the time discussing formulas and terms quite different from their usual pronounciation...

the fact that he also talks to the blackboard and says "orayt" everytime he finishes one formula just proves that i learned only tiny bit of info from him...

there was even a time that i really wanted to understand every single thing that he blabs...unfortunately, i ended up sleeping in the middle of his class, which he usually ignores.... too bad huh?

hmmmm...aside from countless reviewing of contest pieces for himig tomasino, and mastery of "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg for Himig AA's Valentine bash, i also practiced some new songs... mostly from my favorite band nowadays.... Rivermaya.

I really admire the songwriting prowess of Rico Blanco. His genuine works offer different punchlines applicable to different kinds of situations.

everytime i hear his songs, it often reminds me of KT! hahah! his excellency in writing, delivering blows left and right of the reader, leaves this mark on the people who have come across their works...

well so much for rivermaya....

I really think that some things here in this world are inevitable. some emotions ARE inevitable.

I keep on missing her...

a week without even a glance would very much affect me as all of u know, im a very emotional person.

theres a new week ahead of me... i'll just continue doin the stuff i used to do..."magparamdam". it would be the best thing to execute in this confusing world of mine. I know i cant hide it... but somethings pulls me back...telling me its not yet time... well...maybe someday... in time.... i would be able to tell her everything i want...


evrything i feel....


every single shard of it....

Killing time,,,precious time

I was going to post another entry last night, but my very attractive bed pulled me towards her... eventually falling asleep.

Burdened by upcoming deadlines of the Design Plate, and not to mention, the pains of the ROTC inspection, has made me in fact, wasted.

Yup, ya heard it oh so right. Wasted. And i think this is the first time ever that i told myself that i am... hahha

Yup ruthee...on a sunday morning,,,after the party,,, i had to go to training,,, barely having 4 hours of sleep, i still managed to go there and execute my duties as a platoon leader(now thats nice... )

But the thing is,,, i forgot to eat my breakfast,,, knowing that im still full of last nights yummy food..(thanks CJ!) so, i had to wait until we were given a well deserved breaktime... unfortunately, as i have said before,,, we were treated as robots and were never given any damn break.

At the end of the day,, that was around 6 in the pm i had a dumpling meal at mini stop and a hotdog sandwich... simple yummies that evryone can afford. I survived hunger to cut it short.

Now, where am i? i'm at Padre Noval St. Near espana. Our Graphics teacher didnt show up, i guess he's sick or something,,(sir, better get well soon! ) so that meant a free time for the whole section...im with my classmates, as usual their playing their Ragnarok characters,,, i hope their not so addicted yet, but i think its inevitable... almost all ragnarok players eventually become addicts to the game in the process...

anyways, im off to play Battle realms with my classmate... hahaha... just to kill some precious time... i'll be back soon...

HUWAPPAHK!

Yeah...this will be a looooooooong day....

Choosing to Choose

I chose to love you in silence
coz in silence i find no rejection


i chose to love you from afar
because from afar,
i wont be pushed away

I chose to love you
in the drizzle of the rain.
Because you taught me to love it
and in the rain
i can hide my tear.

i chose to love you
by turning back
but still looking back,
i cannot afford to get hurt anymore.
and i cant afford to see you hurt.

I chose to love you in a place
where the North and the South meet.
Because the chances of you
Loving me: Impossible

I chose to love you in my dreams
coz in my dreams.
nobody owns your heart
but me.

I chose to love you
not in this life
hoping that there would be
another life
where we can finally be
together

------------------------this is a letter for her--------------------

Sense thats what people lack nowadays

As ive expected, this day would be looooong.yup, long. and it just ended now. hahah! im home na kasi! huwappahk!

Im quite satisfied with the results of my examinations which was taken last week. I never really expected the kind of grades that i would be getting today.

1FIL 102 i had this one right on target,,, im actually aiming on another flat 1 this sem because it was my first ever 1.00 in UST. (now thats something)

RESULT 58/70

2.DESIGN This time, its quite surprising! Imagine doin a floor plan, Elevation Drawings, Section Drawings and a perspective Drawing with a research included for a grueling 6hours! I worked from 12 noon until the time,the moon can be clearly seen from the Architecture and Fine Arts Bldg (our bldg of course). It was tiring. You get to draw alot, facing a 20 by 30 sized tracing paper, squeezing one's brain until he gets a good and acceptable design.

it was really to my surprise that when i got my plate, i got an unbelievable 88! wow! and that was one of the hardest subjects in the course because all the profs are so meticulous in checking!


to sum up every result this day? one word: SURPRISING

As the day ended, after singing for countless hours once again, i encountered again the poem, me and my theology prof made... its quite tragic, but i find it nice because it really makes sense... let me share it..

Choosing to Choose

I chose to love you in silence
Coz in silence i find no rejection.
I chose to love you from afar
because from afar, i wont be pushed away.

I chose to love you in the drizzle of the rain
coz you taught me to love it and in the rain
i can hide my tear.

I chose to love you
by turning back
but still looking back, i cannot afford
to get hurt anymore,
but i cant afford also to see you hurt.

I chose to love you in place,
where the north and south meet
because the chances of you loving me:
impossible

I chose to love you in my dreams
coz in my dreams,
nobody owns your heart.

I chose to love you not in this life
hoping that there is another life
that we can finally be together.

----------------------------------this is a letter for her---------


thats it...

imagine how it makes sense...
thats all there is to it. Learning to choose.


quite surprising

Pagod

Pagod na ko...

konting sigundo na lang... pipikit na mata ko...

pero pag naiisip kita...

parang..

parang...


parang...


Ayaw ko pa matulog! kaboom!

Mawning na pala

Umaga na pala... di ko napansin. Ambilis ng daloy ng contest kahapon, sa isang iglap, tapos na ang pinag papraktisan namin ng ilang buwan at ilang araw. Para sa akin, sobrang saya kagabi... walang tatalo.

Ansayang bumisita sa mga kaibigan nung hapon, bukod sa pagkalate ko dahil kumuha pa ko ng costume... ang aking favorite, Tartol-Neck na black. Saya saya. Ang maganda pa dyan, bago ako sumabak sa kantahan kasama ng choir, nakakuha ako ng inspirasyon...

Sakto para mabuhayan ako ng loob at may mapag-alayan ng gagawin naming kanta

Hay anong sarap ng may pinag aalayan ka ng kanta... parang ayaw mo nang matapos ang araw,,, ayaw mo nang matapos ang kanta. Kahit mawalan ka ng boses, kahit na pumiyok ka(God Forbid!)

Hay... basta,,, masyadong maraming nangyari sa akin kagabi... ang maganda pa dun, masaya halos lahat.

Nakita ko cya...

Nakausap...

Naka ngitian...

Nasubaybayan...

Nasuportahan...

hah... at madami pang iba!!!

Basta...sobrang saya ng araw kong toh! wala nang pasok, parang feeling ko, buong buo ako... sobra..

Share ko lang ha...


"Hindi ko pansin ang kislap ng bituin pag kapiling ka sinta... Kahit liwanag ng buwan at bituin, di ko na nasisita... iisa lang ang nag haharing tala sa mundo,,, tanging ikaw, ang liwanag sa buhay ko....

Di ko pansin ang bango ng hasmin pag kapiling ka sinta,, kahit ga-dagat ang dami ng rosas, di matataranta... iisa lang ang nagtataglay ng halimuyak, at ikaw nga tanging ikaw sinta....

Ilkaw ang tunay na ligaya tanging ikaw sinta,, maghapon umaga hapon kahit magdamag, laging ikaw sinta, hindi magsasawa sa piling mo...

Di ko pansin ang bawat sandali pag kapiling ka sinta, kahit ulan kidlat at kulog man di napapansin sinta, iisa lang ang hinihiling kong kasagutan... ngayon at magpakailanman makapiling ka sinta....

Ikaw ang tunay na ligaya tanging ikaw sinta, Umaga hapon kahit magdamag laging ikaw sinta... hindi magsasawa sa piling mo....



Buong buo ako...Ansaya!